Impressive(ly easy) Thai Chicken

• This slow cooker recipe is one of my favorites. It makes a ton, is impossible to screw up, makes your house smell delicious, and is thoroughly impressive to any dinner guests without requiring any talent or work on your part whatsoever.  
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• Ingredients
• 1 pound skinless chicken thighs (I like bone in best because they're cheap and come out looking more fancy so I just pull the chicken skin off after purchasing, but you can use boneless if you like)
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 4 tbls of this curry powder (because its ridiculously good.) or any yellow curry powder you have on hand
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 1 tbls minced garlic (you can reduce by half if you are garliphobic)
• 2 tsp fresh grated ginger (seriously go buy some ginger!)
• 1 cup diced white onion (or yellow or red)
• zest & juice of one lime (lime rind meet cheese grater)
• 1 1/2 cans full fat coconut milk
• 4 sprigs dried lemongrass (its okay if you don't have it, but a whole lot cooler if you do)

Garnish

• 1 bunch cilantro
• 2 limes, divided into wedges
• additional sea salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Add all ingredients into slow cooker and set on low for 6.5 hours. Once it's done, discard lemongrass sprigs if you used them. Garnish with a pile of cilantro leaves and, if you're me, a bath of fresh lime juice.  You can pull it out early if you are so hungry you can't wait that long, just make sure it goes for at least five hours. Seriously though, leave the lid on the whole time. Chicken isn't very fatty, and the steam really keeps it's juiciness intact

Best Deviled Eggs!

Oh my hell these are so easy and delicious. I'm serious you guys. Everyone thinks their recipe is the best, but people fucking love my deviled eggs.This recipe started out as an attempt to develop an easier almond mayonnaise recipe, only I overpoured the vinegar and it came out too bitter. I was left with a food processor full of inedible olive oil and almond paste so I had to come up with a recipe that would make the bitterness of it work. I decided to try it as a platform for deviled egg filling... that was the best idea ever.  Your deviled eggs will now come out the same, every single time, and they will beat the shit out of everyone else deviled eggs. They also won't kill anyone if you leave them sitting out unrefrigerated at a barbecue, which is always nice. Best of all, you get the delectable creamy taste without the unnecessary sugar and processed junk running rampant in commercially produced mayonnaise. READYSETMAKEIT!

Ingredients
3 tbls almonds (any kind but honey roasted, skin on or off is fine)
3/4 cup olive oil
1 tbls water
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar (or white will work)
1/4 tsp sea salt (or any kind you've got!)
1/2 tsp black pepper
6 eggs
2 tbls yellow mustard
food processor (I've also made these with a strong ass blender)

(that is seriously all you need)

Directions
Set your eggs on the stove to hard boil. While you wait for them to finish add the vinegar to the food processor and begin running it. While it's running open the hole in the top (be careful if you went the blender route) and slowly drizzle the olive oil into the vinegar. Once the oil is added, add the almonds,water,salt and pepper. Blend the shit out of it all until it is thick and pastelike (approximately one minute)
Peel your boiled eggs and slice them in half along their longest side. Scoop their yolks into a mixing bowl, reserving the egg white bowls on a platter to the side. Add the mustard and paste from your food processor to the mixing bowl, and hand mash ingredients together until creamy and yellow. Refrigerate for one hour.
That's it! I garnish them with smoked paprika, bacon crumbles, or cayenne pepper.

Basil Rosemary Scramble

Easy like Sunday morning! A whole food breakfast in three minutes, with one bowl and no pans, what could be better?

Ingredients
2 eggs
3/4 cups fresh basil leaves(tightly packed)
1 tbls fresh rosemary (or you can sub 1 tsp dried)
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp grass fed butter
1 tsp olive oil
2 tsp water
1 wedge lemon
sea salt and course ground pepper to taste



Directions
Beat both eggs well with water in microwave safe bowl. Finely chop together the basil and rosemary and add to bowl along with turmeric, salt, pepper, and butter. Microwave on high, uncovered, stopping to beat ingredients together every one minute until desired egg texture is reached. drizzle with olive oil and squeeze of  lemon. Enjoy.

Green Butter Chicken

This recipe doesn't call for butter, strangely enough. But the meat is so tender once it's done cooking, that it falls off the bone and melts in your mouth like...you know. It becomes even more of a nutritional powerhouse with the addition of fresh herbs (where the green comes in) It's also super easy, which is a plus.

Ingredients

6 pieces bone-in organic chicken. (Drumsticks, thighs, whatever you've got on hand)
1 bunch cilantro
1 bunch parsley
2 tbls sesame oil
2 tbls olive oil
zest from one lime (lime rind meet cheese grater)
5 tbls apple cider vinegar (or any vinegar you've got on hand besides balsamic)

sea salt and fresh ground pepper to taste (I do 1/2 tsp salt and five or so turns on the pepper grinder)

Directions

When I plan on making this for dinner, I start the marinade for it during lunch. If you're pressed for time,  the chicken really only needs to soak in the marinade for two hours before it's ready to pop into the oven.

Marinade: Wash Cilantro and Parsley and pat dry. Chop coarsely and add to mixing bowl along with salt, pepper, oils, vinegar, and lime zest. Cut the remaining lime into wedges and reserve to use as garnish at serving time.

Add chicken to bowl after patting it dry of any excess moisture. Rub marinade into chicken thoroughly, (hands work best for this) making sure to rub herbs and oils underneath the skin as well as on top. Once chicken is thoroughly coated, cover and refrigerate until cooking time.

To cook: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. While you wait, arrange the chicken in an oven safe baking dish and scoop any leftover marinade in over the meat. Bake uncovered for 55 minutes or until its juices run clear, turning halfway through. Serve with pan juices poured over the top of each piece and lime wedges for garnish.

Seriously, it's that easy... and really impressive tasting.